You might be
surprised to know that I was very stubborn about spending another summer
serving with Next Step. I had been in contact with Nick Cocalis, the director
of Next Step for since last November, he kept on nudging me about being the
team leader of one of the sites for this summer. I reassured him that I would
be graduating in May, finding a ‘ big girl’ job and didn’t think I was supposed
to do another summer of missions with Next Step. Little did I know, God had
something else planned for me. Other job opportunities had fallen through,
leaving this position for me still standing. I especially didn’t want to go to
the Bahamas. International sites seemed more difficult… I mean what was I
supposed to do with no phone service when I needed to call my mommy crying
about something… not that I do that or anything. But I just wanted to be comfortable though, you
know? I knew another summer doing mission trips wasn’t going to be.
In a blog
that I wrote before I left for the Bahamas and this is what I said:
Working in 90 degree heat and
humidity 8 hours a day, then returning to site to help cook and feed the mouths
of several students, lead nightly worship, have staff and leader meetings,
while trying to have fun for 9 weeks straight... It's all so exhausting. It's
as if I have my heels dug deep into the ground as God pulls me there. My
selfish ambition wants me to be comfortable. God wants to challenge me. But my
heart knows just how wrong I am when it comes to my own desires and just how
much better it is when I follow God's desires.
I sat down at the piano and began to
go through old worship songs that I love. I came across "Called Me
Higher" by All Sons and Daughters. That was it. The Lord spoke loudly to
my heart, and it was a slap in the face. My favorite part of the lyrics say "I
could be safe...I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home, never
let these walls down. But You have called me higher. You have called me deeper.
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord."
I
realized that I could sit in comfort, but that's not God's plan for me this
summer. He's trying to grow me and he's not going to do it in the comfort of
A/C and sleep-filled nights. He's going to do it in sweaty days, long and
sleepless nights, and insecurity. Discomfort.
Oh Boy did
God use discomfort this summer… So after God had spoken loudly I began to put
on my brave face and reluctantly went.
The first day
on site I knew immediately that All Saints Camp was going to rock my world. As
you walk through the camp you can see what life is like for the residents
living there. They each have a tiny little room that has enough room for a twin
bed. For those that aren’t bed ridden there is a communal bathroom at the end
of the path. For those that are bed ridden wear diapers and get changed by
caretakers, which are just other non-bed ridden residents at the camp who don’t
get paid for that work. They don’t have
running clean water, so they wait for a new jug of water each week. There’s no
air conditioning, and the lucky ones get fans in their rooms. A few of the
residents have jobs and leave during the day, but others just live off of a
stipend of $80 a month for everything they need. Which in the Bahamas is even
less than what we would think of because everything there costs almost twice as
much as it does here. The physical aspects of the camp broke my heart. What I
saw… it was so different from anything I’d experienced.
To be honest
it made me angry. I prayed, “How could you allow this, God?” These are your
children, and you’ve completely forgotten about them. Where are you in this
place?
Well, I began
to develop relationships with the individuals that lived there and learned
their stories over the first couple weeks.
I first got to know Garvin who is 32 and has
cerebral palsy. He basically can’t do anything on his own. He lays on his
stomach 24/7, his body going one-way, and his legs another, his hands unable to
even open. Garvin had been in the camp for over 16 years there lying on his
stomach. Some days I got to help spoon-feed him lunch, other days I got to help
clip his finger and toenails and give him a hair cut. Garvin’s face always lit
up when anyone walked into the room. It was difficult to understand him when he
spoke, but he was always doing well when you asked, and was always in a good
mood. His room was covered in Bible verses…his favorite being John 14:1-2 “Let
not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s
house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to
prepare a place for you.”
I also endeared
myself to Perry pretty quickly when I would sneak him small bags of potato
chips from our kitchen every day. He couldn’t remember my real name for the
first half of the summer and just called me ‘pretty blue eyes.’ I would hang
out on his porch with him and talk about his life. He would tell me stories of
God’s redemption. He was a scuba diving instructor in the Bahamas when he was
young before he got into drugs. He was a cocaine addict and alcoholic. He
explained how his life was empty…only filled with drugs, sex and alcohol.
Eventually he was homeless, sleeping between two tombstones in a local cemetery.
He had lived there for 2 years when brother brought him to All Saints camp. It
was there that he gave his life to Christ and was completely transformed. He
threw out his drugs, dumped out his alcohol, and surrendered. Every day when I
approached Perry on his porch all he would say is “I thank God for waking me up
for another day.”
Paulette was
quick to warm everyone’s heart as she hung out under the pavilion where we took
all of our water breaks. Paulette is mentally impaired, not understanding a
whole lot, and not able to communicate very well. But she has the brightest
most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. There wasn’t a day that went by that she
didn’t hug me and lift my spirits with her smile. There was a certain innocence
about Paulette that’s hard to explain. She had the faith of a child and a
contagious excitement about life. I handed her a photo of her and me one day
and she screamed ‘YIPEEEE!!’ and started laughing uncontrollably and hugging me.
I couldn’t help but think that there were so many things I could have given her
but she was grateful for something this small.
Patrick is
seriously the most joyful person I’ve met in my life. He only uses three
phrases when speaking to you, “Amen! Amen!” “True, True!” and “Yes! Yes!” If
you want to talk about positivity, Patrick is the definition of it. It didn’t
matter what you said to him, he would reply Amen! Amen! And start laughing. We
would go out of our way to entertain him because he had one of those contagious
belly laughs that you couldn’t help but join him in laughter. All Patrick would
do is sit by where we were working and watch. He spent his days like that,
which made me wonder what his life was like when we weren’t there.
Brother Vince
who is blind lives on the lower level of the camp. I would always walk down the hill to get some
spiritual encouragement. My first conversation with him, he asked me “Emily,
what are we?” and I didn’t really know what he meant, I said “friends?” he said
“NO! We are brother and sister. Do you know why? Because we have the same
heavenly father!” And just like that we were good friends.
We took all
the residents on an outing to see various landmarks around Nassau because many
of them haven’t left the camp in years. Vince sat behind me and before we’d
even left the camp on the school bus he burst out in song. Singing “This is the day that the lord has
made. I will rejoice and be glad in it” Now, brother Vince has a pretty loud
voice and some people may or may not have began shoving paper towel in their
ears, which was kind of funny to me…
This struck me, those of us that could see everything around us didn’t
have half the appreciation for things as Vince did, and he couldn’t even see God’s
creation.
I could go on
and on about each of the 32 residents from All Saints, each with their own
story of heartbreak and pain, but the redemption they have experienced and the
joy that they are living with today.
I realized
how wrong I was about them all…. There stories were testaments to how they were
not forgotten by God at all. In fact, He was the only One that had not
forgotten them. They had almost nothing physically and materially, but they had
everything spiritually and they held onto God’s hope every single day.
In Isaiah
25:4-5 it says “You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in
their distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat. For the
breath of the ruthless is like a storm driving against a wall and like the heat
of the desert. You silence the uproar of foreigners; as heat is reduced by the
shadow of a cloud, so the song of the ruthless is stilled.”
God is
defending oppressed people until his final triumph. After being surrounded by
the people at the camp, the condition that they face, the circumstances that
they have overcome or still live in, and seeing the way God is right there with
them this verse became the meditation of my heart. My hope. God is our
stronghold no matter what we face.
Near the end
of the summer, the girls on my team went with Felicia the fulltime missionary
to do hospital visits. There were three residents that were in the hospital and
we wanted to show them that we loved and cared for them. It was clear to see
how AIDS is so stigmatized. The hospitals have separate wards for the patients.
You enter the room and there are rows of beds, nothing separating the patients.
As we walked down the isle passing sick individuals we found our friend Dalvin
lying in bed with tubes in his nose, hands tied down. We weren’t sure if he’d
remember us, because he suffered from memory loss a lot. But as we approached
him, his eyes got so big and we knew that he remembered.
We brought
him a care package, some photos of him with students, and a book. I held his
hand and told him that we had been praying for him. Felicia turned to me and
said, “Do you want to lead him?” I knew
what she meant, but I felt nervous… She wanted me to lead him to Christ, to
make sure he knew who Jesus was.
But I agreed
and slowly started asking Dalvin questions about Jesus. If he trusted him, if
he knew Him and how much Jesus loves him. That Jesus died for him. How nothing
we ever do could change the way God loves us. Dalvin couldn’t speak to respond
but we began to sing “Jesus Loves Me” and he tightened his grip on my hand.
Something touched me in my heart and tears began rolling down my cheeks. I
can’t know for sure what was going on in Dalvin’s heart and soul, but I have
faith that he loves Jesus just as much as I do.
We went into
the women’s section of the ward and visited a resident that had been in the
hospital for over two years. Her name was Barbara and she was so happy to see
us even though she only knew Felicia out of the 6 of us that were there.
Felicia bent down so she was face to face with Barbara and said, “Barbara, I
just wanted you to know that you are not forgotten. We love you and miss
you.” I believe that was the moment I
discovered that the reason why the people of All Saints camp were not forgotten
was because someone was there to remind them how much they are loved by God.
Tim and
Felicia, the fulltime missionaries there had left their normal, comfortable
lives in the states to love those who felt unlovable. They listened to the call
of God and went with obedience. When they first arrived at the camp about 6
years ago, the people there were being physically abused, left to sit in their
unchanged diapers, leadership was corrupt and still is… the conditions were
unlivable. Tim and Felicia saw a desperate
need and felt God calling them. They chose to love people that had been shunned
by their families. They chose to serve these people each day. And the result was people who are holding on
tightly to the promises of God, despite their circumstances. Now they bring in
groups of missionaries year round that show Christ’s love and work on improving
the camp, while at the same time the residents of All Saints now minister to
the many missionaries that come each year.
God took
something broken and is continuing to shed His light through it and turn it
into something beautiful.
I think a lot of times we sit and
wonder why people are suffering in the world, and a lot of times we ask God why
he’s not doing anything about it..why he’s forgetting his people. Yet, we are
the very ones that are called to go..
Paul writes about his obedience to God
in order to make the gospel known in Acts 20:24.
He says “But I do not account my life
of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the
ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the
grace of God.”
He’s saying here that his life means
nothing in comparison to the calling he received from God to reach the lost,
the poor in spirit, the hungry, the forgotten. He doesn’t care about his own
life, as long as he is finishing the course in which God has sent him on. He’s
living life with an eternal perspective.
This verse reminds makes me think of
Tim and Felicia, the many missionaries out in the world sacrificing their
comfort and safety to spread the gospel…but it also makes me think of the
church family I grew up in right here. The small acts of kindness and love, the
unseen hours that are spent serving each other, the generosity and quickness to
give what you have to help a neighbor, the many things that are being done to make
sure that no one feels forgotten by God. I think about all of you that have
been a living example of this verse to me my whole life.
I almost allowed my fear of being
uncomfortable keep me from an incredible summer of seeing God do amazing things
at All Saints camp…all because I wanted air conditioning and sleep. God
revealed His glory to me in huge ways and it was worth so much more than the
little day-to-day annoyances, inconveniences, and selfish desires. one of
it is comparable to Christ’s glory that will be revealed when we follow Him.
I want to close with Paul’s words
again. “But I do not account my life of
any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the
ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the
grace of God.”
No comments:
Post a Comment