Hello, everyone! Today I am speaking from a heart of pure satisfaction in my dissatisfaction. That may seem contradictory, but please stick with me and allow me to expound.
On Friday, we all went on our usual free day with the students after a long and draining week of work at the camp. After our first stop at the straw market, we all ventured to the beach with souvenirs in hand. We arrived at our normal beach spot and immediately jumped in the ocean seeking relief from the overwhelming heat. Things were running smoothly until I started to feel a little itchy. I tried to ignore the feeling and enjoy my time with the students. Soon I felt a little bit more itchy, and it became increasingly more irritating. Finally I said something about the itching and everyone around me said they felt it too! I couldn't bear it any longer and I left the water and immediately changed out of my swimsuit.
A bunch of students went to the showers near the beach and there was a long line of people experiencing the same problem. Come to find out, we had all been attacked by sea lice. Sea lice are larva from jelly fish that you can't see. They get caught under your swimsuit and chemicals are released when you itch them. They can live on your body and swimsuit for up to a week or two, so it's really important not to itch (this I found out after I had already itched a lot...oops!) Yes... gross.
Saturday morning I woke up to more itching on my stomach and back. In my groggy state I kept itching until I finally got out of bed. I looked at my stomach and realized I had hundreds of welts that were red and swollen all over my stomach and back that looked like hives. It was burning and itching and I didn't have any idea what it was. I soon got chills and goose-bumps all over my body. I had a fever and felt nauseated. I could barely keep breakfast down and ended up having to go to my room to get sick before the last group had even left. I guess I had an allergic reaction or something... others had the stings but no one's body reacted quite like mine. That day I was in bed from noon until about 9am the next morning.
It's 3 days later and my body is still itching. There are times when I just want to crawl out of my own skin. Every time I do a vinegar or rubbing alcohol treatment on the stings I feel like screaming.. yet, I know that I am healing. I know that at some point the itching will stop, my skin will heal, and I'll be in a better place than I was before I was even infected with sea lice. I know that I will have learned something new, grown somehow, or will feel more grateful than before, because I believe there is a reason for every battle we face. I know this seems simplistic, but let me connect the dots.
Isn't that life? We are all sick with something. It may be physical, maybe it's spiritual, maybe it's mental or emotional.. We are all waiting. Waiting for healing. Waiting to be in a better place somewhere in the future. Hoping that it's today, but impatiently wondering if that day will ever come. We are dissatisfied with the difficulties that God has allowed. We get downright angry with Him. We are squirming in our skin and maybe even screaming through the pain that is supposedly helping us heal. What if the healing never comes in this life? Will you be satisfied with the life God has given you?
Becoming the person God wants us to be takes a lot of refining fire. Endless refining fire. But he never promised us an easy life to begin with. He promised us a life that would be filled with suffering and pain. But that's the least of what he promised...he promised us an eternal future in Heavenly glory through His son! He promised us a future so beautiful that anything we could imagine or dream up on our own could never compare.
Maybe today you are hurting from something small like I am. Maybe today you are hurting from something so big that nothing that anyone could do or say could ever stifle the pain you are experiencing. But let me tell you this. He is working in your waiting. He is sanctifying you.
Maybe it's right here in the pain in which we should be most satisfied. Satisfied in our dissatisfaction, knowing that through this, we are promised healing and restoration that is eternal. What will you do while you wait?
"You now rejoice in this hope, even if it’s necessary for you to be distressed for a short time by various trials. This is necessary so that your faith may be found genuine. (Your faith is more valuable than gold, which will be destroyed even though it is itself tested by fire.) Your genuine faith will result in praise, glory, and honor for you when Jesus Christ is revealed." - 1 Peter 1:6-7
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