Sea Lice and Dissatisfaction

Hello, everyone! Today I am speaking from a heart of pure satisfaction in my dissatisfaction. That may seem contradictory, but please stick with me and allow me to expound.

On Friday, we all went on our usual free day with the students after a long and draining week of work at the camp. After our first stop at the straw market, we all ventured to the beach with souvenirs in hand. We arrived at our normal beach spot and immediately jumped in the ocean seeking relief from the overwhelming heat. Things were running smoothly until I started to feel a little itchy. I tried to ignore the feeling and enjoy my time with the students. Soon I felt a little bit more itchy, and it became increasingly more irritating. Finally I said something about the itching and everyone around me said they felt it too! I couldn't bear it any longer and I left the water and immediately changed out of my swimsuit.

A bunch of students went to the showers near the beach and there was a long line of people experiencing the same problem. Come to find out, we had all been attacked by sea lice. Sea lice are larva from jelly fish that you can't see. They get caught under your swimsuit and chemicals are released when you itch them. They can live on your body and swimsuit for up to a week or two, so it's really important not to itch (this I found out after I had already itched a lot...oops!) Yes... gross.

Saturday morning I woke up to more itching on my stomach and back. In my groggy state I kept itching until I finally got out of bed. I looked at my stomach and realized I had hundreds of welts that were red and swollen all over my stomach and back that looked like hives. It was burning and itching and I didn't have any idea what it was. I soon got chills and goose-bumps all over my body. I had a fever and felt nauseated. I could barely keep breakfast down and ended up having to go to my room to get sick before the last group had even left. I guess I had an allergic reaction or something... others had the stings but no one's body reacted quite like mine. That day I was in bed from noon until about 9am the next morning.

It's 3 days later and my body is still itching. There are times when I just want to crawl out of my own skin. Every time I do a vinegar or rubbing alcohol treatment on the stings I feel like screaming.. yet, I know that I am healing. I know that at some point the itching will stop, my skin will heal, and I'll be in a better place than I was before I was even infected with sea lice. I know that I will have learned something new, grown somehow, or will feel more grateful than before, because I believe there is a reason for every battle we face. I know this seems simplistic, but let me connect the dots.

Isn't that life? We are all sick with something. It may be physical, maybe it's spiritual, maybe it's mental or emotional.. We are all waiting. Waiting for healing. Waiting to be in a better place somewhere in the future.  Hoping that it's today, but impatiently wondering if that day will ever come. We are dissatisfied with the difficulties that God has allowed. We get downright angry with Him. We are squirming in our skin and maybe even screaming through the pain that is supposedly helping us heal. What if the healing never comes in this life? Will you be satisfied with the life God has given you?

Becoming the person God wants us to be takes a lot of refining fire. Endless refining fire. But he never promised us an easy life to begin with. He promised us a life that would be filled with suffering and pain. But that's the least of what he promised...he promised us an eternal future in Heavenly glory through His son! He promised us a future so beautiful that anything we could imagine or dream up on our own could never compare.

Maybe today you are hurting from something small like I am. Maybe today you are hurting from something so big that nothing that anyone could do or say could ever stifle the pain you are experiencing. But let me tell you this. He is working in your waiting. He is sanctifying you.

Maybe it's right here in the pain in which we should be most satisfied. Satisfied in our dissatisfaction, knowing that through this, we are promised healing and restoration that is eternal. What will you do while you wait?

"You now rejoice in this hope, even if it’s necessary for you to be distressed for a short time by various trials. This is necessary so that your faith may be found genuine. (Your faith is more valuable than gold, which will be destroyed even though it is itself tested by fire.) Your genuine faith will result in praise, glory, and honor for you when Jesus Christ is revealed." - 1 Peter 1:6-7 

'You Ain't That Great, Mon'

My sixth week in the Bahamas is starting, and each week that I'm here I fall deeper in love with the community that we are serving at the All Saints Camp.  The people that live here have such interesting stories to tell, each a unique journey to where they are now. Many of them love Jesus with all their heart and never cease praising Him each day. I came here to share my own faith in hopes that it would strengthen others'. Little did I know that the people of All Saints would show me the true face of God, giving me an unwavering trust in Him and His plans. 

God uses them to speak to me in so many ways. I don't even know where to begin in sharing the experience of All Saints with you. I guess I'll just share a couple specific stories that reveal just how special it is to be a small part of this place.

Liquid Sunshine

During our first week of trips it rained a lot. Tropical rain storms come and go frequently, but that week they happened every day and lasted for hours. I was getting a little bit frustrated because I didn't understand why God would bring a bunch of people here to do construction work if He was just going to let it rain. I could tell that people weren't happy about the situation and I was feeling a little stressed. 

I decided to walk down the hill to talk to Brother Vince. Vince is blind, but you would never be able to tell by the joy he has and the smile on his face. I believe Vince sees so much more than we do with our sight, though. He sees your heart, and oh how he loves to sing and praise our King! The first time I met him he asked me, "what are we?" I wasn't sure what he meant and said, "friends?" He scolded me and said, "we ain't friends, Emily! You are my sista in Christ." Amen, Vince. 

That rainy day I walked down the hill and started talking to him about the rain and how we couldn't work. A couple of the girls from my team were with me and he started telling us how rain here in the Bahamas is called liquid sunshine and he pretty much forbid us from saying 'rain.' He proceeded to lead us in a bunch of different worship songs. We all sat under his porch, praising Jesus, and singing our hearts out. In the midst of our song the rain let up and sunshine began to beam through the dark clouds. 

I exclaimed to Vince, "The rain stopped and the sun is shining!" He replied to me, "Why are you so surprised? When the praises go up, the blessings come down." Here I was getting stressed out and cranky about rain because it was getting in the way of 'our' work. All Vince ever does is praise God, rain or shine, with sight and without. What a testiment to how we are supposed to respond to the things life throws at us. His perspective is inspiring and I felt so blessed to have gotten a small taste of it. 

I realized that 'our work' doesn't always align with God's work and the lessons he taught through the rain were so much more important than anything we could have accomplished. 

You Ain't That Great, Mon

Another resident, Robert, doesn't get too close with any of our team or students, but I have been obnoxious enough to him that I feel that we've made a pretty special bond. I always walk up to him and ask him a million questions. He likes to hide out, but I always find him and pester him. At first I truly think I annoyed him, but now he waits for my arrival every day. He also says 'mon' as in 'man' at the end of everything he says so I say it back to him. Yeah, Mon! Robert and I have good laughs and tell stories to each other, but we've never gotten too deep about faith. I wasn't entirely sure if he is even a believer or not. 

Oneweek I had some moments of doubt in myself. I didn't think I had the ability to lead because I kept messing up in little ways. That day I had lost some keys and it really frazzled me. I was telling myself that if I couldn't even keep track of a key, how could I lead a bunch of people on site? After the keys were found I wandered down the path to find comfort in my friend, Robert. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that I am a failure, I lose keys, I'm unorganized, and that I'm not equipped for this job. He said one of the most profound things that I've ever been told, "you ain't that great, mon. Only Jesus is."  It was like God spoke directly into my heart at that moment and humbled me right back to my human self. Of course I'm going to lose keys and be inadequate, Jesus was the only perfect leader and I will never be. Tears filled my eyes and I thanked him for speaking truth to me. Needless to say, Robert loves Jesus too. 

There's so many stories like this that I could tell, and I will try to remember to share, but if you can at all or ever in your life..come to this camp. Meet these people. They are remarkable. It's even more than the profound conversations; it's the small moments that you can see God everywhere...In Paulette's hugs, in Patrick's laugh as he says "Amen! Amen!" no matter what you say to him, in Delvin's sassy looks when you can't give him another sandwich for lunch, in miss Lillian's comittment to feeding her pigeons 3 times a day, in Garvin's smile that erupts when you walk into his room, in the way Miss Smith shakes her head at you with a confused look on her face, in the way Perry whispers to me every day not to forget to sneak him some potato chips...the list goes on. I will never be able to describe how special it is to be here.

God is so good and I will forever be greatful for this experience! 

Site Update and Prayer Requests

Hello, loved ones!

Sorry that it's been about a month since my last post, but things got really busy here to say the least. So far we've had four weeks of missions at All Saints and each one has been an incredible experience! Students from South Carolina, Illinois, Texas, Florida, Michigan, and Indiana have come to share the love of Christ and grow more into his likeness. Each week I learn something new and am in complete awe of God's divine nature and sovereignty. This week we have an individual from West Virginia and a small group from California. I look forward to the new lessons that will be learned!

All Saints Camp has captured my heart and each morning I look forward to getting to the camp to join my newly formed family in Christ. Even on the most tiring days when I feel exhausted, something remarkable happens... a conversation that I needed to hear, an event that lifts my spirits, or simply a smile that reminds me why I'm here. Life is so full when you're at the center of God's will. Praise Jesus!

My team is absolutely wonderful as well. I know I've said it before but I love them with all of my heart. Each one of them is so gifted in different ways and it's so special when you see what God meant when he created us to be the full body of Christ. I am continually amazed at how each one of us comes together each day with unique strengths, equally important to each other, to serve and love others. I am beyond blessed by the Christ-centered hearts and selflessness that my team exudes.

Tim and Felicia, the full-time missionaries here, and their kids Shadow and Richelle are absolute GIFTS to our team. It's like having a mom and dad down here to lift us up in prayer, comfort us, guide us and support us in our ministry. I honestly don't know what we would do without them. They have such willing hearts filled with pure obedience to God. They have been here for 5 years full-time and it's so cool to see why God has them here each day. One resident told me last week that Felicia is her angel sent from God. I couldn't agree with that more. It's encouraging to know that though we are here to help the camp now for a short time, when we leave the residents are in good hands.

As far as prayer requests, I have many! So please join me in prayer to keep this summer as glorifying to God as it can be. Here they are:

• Good health for EVERYONE! I wasn't feeling well last night (feverish and chills). I know it was a result of being run down and over tired, but I started to panic because the landlord Dr. Kas told me there was a confirmed case of Chikungunya (spelling?) in the Bahamas. It's a flu that is transmitted through mosquitos and it's all over the Caribbean right now.  Please pray that no one here (staff, students, or residents) gets infected with it because it causes severe sickness for a couple weeks. I know my church prayed for me this morning and I definitely felt it! I feel a lot better today. The power of prayer I tell ya!
• Energy! We are now entering into the back half of our summer. This is the point where our exhaustion starts to catch up with us, patience wears thin, sickness creeps in, and we start to lose grip on why we are here. Please pray for supernatural energy to continue to serve whole-heartedly. We only have a few more weeks of trips left, and we don't want to waste any time being too tired to serve! 
• Unity. As I said before, this team I'm serving with down here is incredible, but this is only a result of God's grace and strength. We can always use continuous prayers for unity and love for one another. Without His strength our flesh will fail. 
• Logistics for the upcoming week. On Tuesday we get to take the residents on an outing. They never get out of the camp so this is really exciting! However, we've been having trouble getting ahold of the handicapped van service. Please pray we do so that no residents get left out of this incredible opportunity to have a day out on the island! 

Thank you so much for being the spiritual support in this journey! I not only appreciate your prayers but absolutely NEED them. 

Love you all! 

"My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever." Psalm 73:26